Shit We Do While We Sleep.
Alright. I think it's time for another one of these again.
A few months ago, I posted my "Shit My Dad Says." list on here, and y'all loved it. Which is awesome, by the way. I am truly, only here for an honest outlet, specifically for myself. That said, I'm posting this all publicly so that if you do choose to read it, hopefully you are entertained. I almost wanted to call this a sequel, but I think I will probably end up doing a "part 2" of "Shit My Dad Says.", so I guess this is just another one in the series...
My boyfriend, Trung, and I, LOVE to give each other crap about... well, pretty much anything. Some of the best stuff we have on each other though, are the things we do in our sleep. He even went so far as to record me snoring once. BUT I was sick, so that is not fair, and doesn't count! I WANT A REMATCH!! I guess, in the meantime, here's some Shit My Boyfriend & I Do While Sleeping...
P.S.- I don't snore.
- On one of the first nights that I stayed the night with Trung, I head butted him... really hard. I'm talking, I full-on threw my head back, and then woke up just before my head smashed into his. It ended with both of us rolling around in the bed, holding our heads, and saying "Ow!". Yeah. Go on ahead, and just picture that for a moment.
- Also during one of my first nights at Trung's, I awoke to a sound that I can only equate to the horn on a ferry boat. It was coming from Trung. In case you don't know what a ferry boat's horn sounds like, just know that it's VERY LOUD, and VERY LONG LASTING.
- I believe that this one has to do with how my grandmother used to put me to sleep when I was little, but apparently I like to stick my arm straight up in the air, and use my other hand to drag my fingertips across my skin. (It's soothing, okay!) I don't think it would be a problem if I didn't, supposedly, let my arm fall wherever, when I was done. My arm has landed comfortably on Trung's face, chest, gut, and private area. Sorry, bae.
- One time, Trung elbowed me in the face. Also, he once punched me in the face, but I have not yet woken up with a black eye, so I think my face is winning.
- The very first night that I stayed at Trung's, I straight up, kicked him out of bed in the morning, and then proceeded to burrito myself into the blanket. He still has a photo of me laying in a straight line, on my side, in the exact center of the bed.
- Trung strips, and it's not just me who has seen it, he's done it in front of friends too. He takes one hand, and slowly pulls his shirt up, little by little, until it gets to his neck. It's hilarious. It looks like he's trying to be a model, but I still haven't figured out what for.
- I still head butt Trung, but not as bad as the first time, although he would have you believe otherwise. It's more like my head lightly runs into his. In my defense, he shouldn't have his head on my pillow.
- Did you know that is a HUGE deal, that you sleep on your one specific side of the bed? No? Okay, good, I didn't either. During this last Christmas season, I had to work really late. I usually didn't get off work until about 1:30 AM. On one of these nights, Trungs was supposed to be up at about 3:00 AM, or so, and when I got home he was sleeping. On my side of the bed. So I, in an attempt to not wake him, chose to get into bed on his side.. because it's not a big deal, right? Wrong. He sleepily told me to move back to my side of the bed. I argued, and then he decided he didn't care what I had to say, and proceeded to do this weird crab walk maneuver to go over me. Then he pushed me back to my side. He still doesn't recall doing this.
Annnnnnnnnd, that's all folks!
Hope you enjoyed this. Hope you got a good laugh. Hope you have a nice day!
