Starting Life With A Face-Plant.

I think I'm gonna start this off in the opposite way of how I like to receive my information: Bad news first, good news last. (Tear me down first, then build me back up...directly afterwards, please.) I don't want to get to heavy this soon into it, I like the light and fun stuff wayyyy better. (Since I'm a human being and all... You go Danni, two seconds in and you're already laughing at yourself.) Starting something was never my strongest suit. It was always the bigger milestones in my life, where I embarrassed myself the most. Seriously, I don't know what my deal is, but there are two things that never fail to happen no matter how hard I prepare, and try to avoid it. 

One is this amazing ability I have to ALWAYS get lost. It doesn't matter where I am, or how many times I have been there, nor does it matter how many maps I study, or if my GPS was on at the time. I always get lost somewhere. Sometimes it's not even my fault. Like I am not even the person driving, but somehow, that one time that person got everyone lost, and I'm pretty sure it's only because I was in the vehicle. But that's not what this is about, so I'll save this for another day.

The SECOND thing that never fails to happen, is that I start every milestone off with a face-plant. Literally. "What do you mean by 'every milestone', Danni? Why are you falling on your face so much?" Well, just hold on, and let me tell you.

I was always really excited to continue growing, and learning. My step-sister was always terrified about going from elementary to middle school, and middle to high school, but not me. I couldn't wait to keep moving up in the world. I wanted to be were the big kids were, which kinda sucked because they were always a step ahead of me, obviously, but tis how life works.) At every school I went to (Elementary, Middle, AND High) they each did their own version a graduation... Well of course High School was going to do a graduation, duh.

Anyways, I was so excited for Elementary school graduation. I pictured myself walking across the stage in our gym/cafeteria and receiving my certificate of completion  from Mr. ......The Principal, and doing my best princess wave to my mom while the crowd of parents, and classmates cheered for me. It was going to be perfect. It was going to be perfect, until my strappy sandal got caught under one of the stairs going up to the stage while my feet where still moving forward. One second I was looking at the principal, the next second the stage was smashing my nose into my face. The crowd made some "oh my gosh, is she ok?" kind of noise simultaneously, while I just laid there for a second, in shock. Soon I got up, put my head up, fought back some tears of humiliation, shook everyones hand and grabbed my stuff quickly, then scurried back to my seat. I wasn't a popular kid back then, more of a weird little loner, but on my way back to my seat my ENTIRE class applauded me and gave me high-fives. For some reason I enjoyed it, and even curtsied for them with teary eyes. That was the first time I realized laughing at yourself makes everything better. 

Middle school wasn't quite as bad, but it happened. I was 13, nearing 14 years old, dating a high schooler, and SOO not into it. By then I had become the typical rebellious teenager, I wore all black, and I didn't care to do anything that didn't involve my friends. I just wanted to get it over with. I walked up the stairs to the stage (slowly), smiled at myself as I made it to the top, and then halfway to the principal, my converse caught on a microphone cord. I caught myself, though! I didn't fully fall like I did the last time. A few kids snickered in the crowd, and that pain in the ass, Eric yelled "Emo!" after I got my certificate, But I left knowing that I was still moving up.. on to High School.

I did the five year plan in High School. It wasn't that I was a bad kid, or that I just didn't understand. I just skipped school one too many times, and I was terrible at remembering to do homework. In class I was a fine student, got along with my teachers, and got good grades on everything that I turned in. Basically I'm just validating myself now, lets move on.. I almost didn't graduate. After suffering through a fifth year without all of my friends, determined that I was going to get my diploma, I almost didn't make it.

Believe it or not, I struggled in English, and the last week before graduation I had convinced my teacher to let me do whatever she could think of for extra credit. I became her personal assistant, getting the classroom ready, cleaning her office, filing, taking books back to the public library for her, I did it all. It was happening, family was showing up from out of town, my dad was there, I was finally graduating and I was so excited. I went to my guidance councilors (Mrs. G) office about half an hour before grades were due for graduation, she pulled up my transcript, and... my English grade was 0.2 percent away from passing. I drug Mrs. G out of her office, across the biggest school in the state, up the stairs, and into the middle of my English teachers class. I demanded that she round up my grade, and do it right now! It took some arguing, but she did round up my grade, and on time. I ran around the classroom high-fiving the students and screaming, "I'M GRADUATING!" before running out of the classroom, and out of the school for the last time.

On the day of my graduation I put on my hand-me-down from my best friend cap and gown, and reminded/warned the majority of my 500+ graduating class about my "curse", hoping to delude any future embarrassment that was probably coming my way. The ceremony was held in the arena of the Civic Center (This huge building in our town where all the big events were held), and the place was packed with students, friends, and families. It was incredibly intimidating. I wore my best sneakers, laces tied tight and tucked into the shoe, and I held up the gown as I walked. Just to be safe. 

My name was called. The crowd cheered. I made it up the stairs, check. Received my diploma and shook the principal's hand, check. Walked across the stage..... CHECK! Took my photo with my diploma, check. Proceeded to walk down the ramp, back to my seat, and I tripped on the gown that I could not longer hold up because my hands were full.  It made a pretty loud noise on the ramp, but I think because of all the noise from the crowd, and excitement from the event, no one really noticed... besides the people sitting in the stands directly above me... but I'm not counting that because I didn't look up to be sure if that's fact.

So cheers to getting the start of this over with!!!

Don't fall on your face, it hurts.