12 Days Of Learning From My Exes: Day 2.
I am all for taking every experience, and learning something from it, good or bad. So for Christmas I am going to reflect on all the good, and bad, things I have learned about myself, and other people. And what better way to narrow it down then to focus on only the lessons I have learned from the people I deemed important enough to be in a relationship with. Think "The 12 Days Of Christmas", but ex addition.
Disclaimer: I am not one to hold any grudges. Anything and everything that happened with the following persons is nothing but a good memory, or a fun story to tell. I care deeply for all of my exes, and they will always hold a tiny piece of my heart. ALL OF THEM.
"On The Second Day Of Christmas My Second Ex Gave To Me.."
Eighth grade was a really weird time for me, but then again the age of thirteen is a little odd for everyone...at least I think.. Either way, it was this year that I had my first, and last, girlfriend. Her name was Jada *blank*, and she was beautiful.
Disclaimer: I am not gay, not even a little bit. BUT, I also don't see any problem at all with the LGBT community. Also, to all my lesbians out there, I totally get you.. women are hot!
Jada was a year behind me, along with my best friend in high school, Suzi. I first saw her on the seventh grader's floor at school, when my close friend, Angel, had drug me down there to meet Suzi for the first time. (Each grade in my middle school had their own floor.) I was so distracted by Jada, at her locker down the hall, that I don't remember much about the first time I met Suzi, luckily it wasn't to noticeable, obviously, because Suzi and I became so close anyways. I got her name from Angel once we were back on the eighth grader's floor, but I was wayyy to shy to ever initiate a conversation with her, so nothing came of it until a few weeks later..
The first time I noticed Jada notice me, I had done something completely out of the norm for myself. A bunch of my friends, and I, were standing at Suzi's locker trying to comfort her while she cried because her girlfriend at the time had broken up with her. (I'm telling you, it was a weird time for a lot of people.) I had seen Jada heading in our direction, and something just came over me. I grabbed Suzi by the shoulders, and shook her while yelling, "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, WOMAN!" I hadn't realized what I had done until it was over, and everyone in the hallway, including teachers, were laughing at my random little outburst. I think part of me just wanted to make Jada laugh. After that I gained a lot of seventh grade friends, AND Jada asked Angel for my name.
Jada started coming around a lot more, and we became friends. Meanwhile, I also began to like her more and more. One day after school, as I was leaving with some friends to wander around down town, she stopped me, and handed me a note. I forget exactly what it said, but she basically asked me out. I said yes. She smiled. I kissed her, and then I ran to catch up with my friends.
We were together for a few months, during which we spent most of our time walking around during passing periods holding hands, giving small hello and goodbye kisses, and talking for way to long on the phone after school. Jada was also one of the prettiest girls at school, and it was fun to know that a lot of the boys were jealous of me, because of her. I really did enjoy having her as my girlfriend.
Unfortunately, the inevitable light bulb had to turn on at some point, and thus my time with Jada came to an end. I don't know what made me start thinking about what the next steps would be with Jada, but once I started down that rabbit hole I just kept going. By the end of it I had come to the conclusion that while I may find some females attractive, I was not, in fact, any bit of gay. (i.e. I don't want anything to do with vaginas.) So I broke up with her, in the most cowardly, middle school way ever: I messaged her on MySpace.
Everyone was pretty pissed at me for breaking up with her, but it needed to be done. Jada and I didn't talk a whole lot, until two years later when her and Suzi's class became freshmen, and we shared the same school again. We were friendly, but we weren't friends. Today I believe she is living on the other side of South Dakota, with her fiance. We never really became any closer, BUT we do share an ex... so, there's that.
Jada helped me answer a pretty big question about myself in realizing that I am most definitely not into girls. I also learned that if there is really nothing there, it's best for everyone to just end things sooner rather than later; things may never be the same, but its better then lying to someone, and doing something you don't want to do.
xoxo~
