Jan 1

Jan 1 2018, You Were Alright.

Honestly, 2018 flew by so quickly, I don’t really think I did anything. It still feels like just yesterday I was complaining that January was taking forever, and now here we are, saying goodbye. I do love New Years though; it’s my second favorite holiday, right behind Halloween. To be real with you, I love any event where fireworks are involved. I also love the feeling of a new beginning. I mean, I know we’re really just continuing on in our existence, exactly where we ended the previous year, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

This year was full of more new experiences in this new state of mine. (AKA: new Tax Returns, new License Plate Registration, and seeing Winter, and Spring here in Washington for the first time since I was two years old.) I started writing my little “S#!t Happens” lists, which it seems like people enjoy, and I’ve been playing around with colors, and hair styles, AKA:trying to destroy my bathroom. I’ve eaten Korean BBQ in Shoreline, had expensive (and delicious) dumplings in a high rise in Seattle, and Hot Pot in Bellevue. We gained friends, and then lost them, but my group became stronger from it. I got an apartment, signed my first lease, and gained the greatest roommate. I booked my very first trip home, all on my own, conquered an airport I had never seen before (just barely conquered it), and flew FIRST CLASS like some kind of fancy person. (Shout out to my best friend, who works at the airport, and upgraded me!) I cried while watching one of my childhood friends get married, got sunburned, real bad, while kayaking the Nooksack River, and then, I turned 24 years old, all in one weekend. I watched the bioluminescence from around a bonfire, surrounded by my favorite people. I’ve eaten an abundance of sushi, and Cup of Noodles. I attended the first house warming party for friends of mine (rather than friends of my parents- am I adult now?). I bought my first, and very own Christmas tree. I was there for my niece’s birthday party, FINALLY! (first of 12). I wandered around the Woodland Park Zoo at night, surrounded by beautiful Christmas lights. And, I’ve narrowed down career fields to two choices- Phlebotomy, or Cosmetology (Hopefully one day I’ll figure out what I want).

I suppose saying I didn’t do ANYTHING this year, is a bit of an exaggeration. Obviously, I haven’t just been slumming it on the couch for a whole 365 days, it’s just that, compared to 2017, this year has been…. pretty lukewarm. In 2017, I worked my little butt off, and moved myself halfway across the country; I arrived in my new home with an immense amount of ambition, and an intention to use every ounce of it on… something big. The question “What do you want to do with your life?”, has always been a hard one for me; it’s not that I don’t have an answer, but that there’s just too many things to choose from. The little voice in the back of my head only ever whispers “Everything”, when the question is presented, but I can’t say that out loud because the stress of having to follow through with it is terrifying. I mean, I don’t actually want to do everything, I just want to do a lot of things, because a lot of things interest me. Maybe it’s just more fun not knowing. I just want to experience everything I can get my tiny hands on, because I don’t want to miss out on something great. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed with what to focus on, which leaves me just taste testing the opportunity. The discouraging part is that I know I’m just playing it safe. I learned pretty fast, here in Bellingham, that I can get away with not putting in the full 100%, because it seems like everyone out here on the coast has this laid back ethic of not over exerting their energy. Not saying everyone is lazy, just saying most people only put out what their asked for, and nothing more then that. It shifted my drive, and I’ve melted right into the pot, because I can get by, doing what I’m doing.

BUT, I didn’t come here for that. I didn’t flip my life inside-out just to be mediocre. I came here because I was ready for something bigger than what was available to me in South Dakota, because I wanted to do more then the person next to me, because I want to make my family proud, and my life have purpose. 2019 is were I’m gonna work on that. I guess what I’m trying to say is: we did it but, you know… do it better… and we made it, so I guess well done… but get it done well’er, because now it’s time to be stronger, healthier. and worthier- so try to try a bit harder, and do all the things that need doing, cause it’ll bring better things back. I did keep all of my plants alive this year, so congrats, to me, on that one!